WHO’S IN THE COCKPIT AND WHY IT MATTERS

Wait!  Before reading this, please take a look at the most recent post from Dr. Josh Freeman Concentration Camps: Is the US still the “savior” or will they happen here? Fascism on the rise in health and everything else.  It’s on his website Medicine and Social Justice.  I’ve written about Nuremberg and Dresden, but what Josh has to say about his visit to the Italian city of Trieste is even more urgent.  You’re certain to feel moved.

Now, back to our regular program.

It’s 5 AM and you’re headed to the airport for an early morning flight.  The wind is howling and rain is pounding your windshield faster than the wipers can keep up.  You lock your car, run into the terminal, and get through security just as your flight is called.  You settle into your seat, breathe a sigh of relief, and relax.

Well, not exactly relax.  The weather’s terrible.  You can see other passengers looking concerned, too.

The cabin attendant comes on the intercom and says, “Good morning, folks. My name’s Lucinda.  I’m assisted today by Randy, Susan, and Caleb.  We’re here to make your journey comfortable.  But more importantly, safety is our primary concern. I know the weather looks rough, but in the cockpit today we have Captain Anderson, assisted by her co-pilot Julian Smith.  They’re two of our most veteran pilots, and together have more than sixty years of flying experience.  They’re both Air Force veterans and very capable pilots.  You’re in good hands.”

You feel yourself relax, and can sense the tension easing in the rest of the plane, too.

The attendant continues, “we’re ready to close the cabin door, so please take your seat and fasten your seatbelt and… WHAT THE…?”

You look at the front of the plane just as a man pushes past the attendant and into the cockpit.  You hear a loud argument, then the two pilots storm off the plane.  The man emerges from the cockpit and grabs the microphone.  “We have a few changes starting today, so get used to it,” he says.  “I just bought this airline, and I’m the new CEO.  What I say goes.

“I’ve just fired the two clowns in the cockpit.  A woman and a black guy.  What do they know?  Probably DEI hires, anyway.  Time to get some real pilots.  Come here, guys.”

He motions and two teenage boys run onto the plane laughing and giving thumbs up signs.  Both are wearing T-shirts and have baseball caps on backwards.  “These are my nephews,” the man says.  “They’ve had their pilot’s licenses for 8 months now.  Never flown anything this big before, but that doesn’t matter.  They’re both geniuses.  Super-geniuses, actually.  They’ll do great.  And they’re loyal.  Super loyal.  I only hire the best.”

You watch as the pair cackle and jump into the cockpit, turning knobs and pulling levers at random.

“And you lame cabin attendants?  Out!  You’re old, slow, and ugly!  You’re all fired!”

One by one, the stunned attendants walk off the plane.  In their place, a group of twenty-somethings wander in, and start opening drawers and banging bottles around.  “These kids are so brilliant,” the man says.  “They know all about customer service, and that’s what you paid for, right?  You’ll all be taken care of.  You’ll be so much better taken care of.  So much better.”

The man leaves and a “flight attendant” in a pink tank-top slams the door shut, just as a couple of passengers jump up and start to run to the door.  “Too slow, Bro,” the attendant laughs.  “We’re on our way now!”  The pilots slam the throttles forward, and several passengers fumble with their seatbelts.

“Aw, don’t worry about it,” the attendant says.  “Those things are overrated, and probably don’t work anyway.  Just a way the old company tried to restrict you.  The only people who use those things are just suckers and losers.”

Not exactly convinced, you fasten yours anyway.  “Oh, what have we here?”  The attendant asks sarcastically, the intercom broadcasting her voice throughout the plane.   She walks over to your seat, holding an iPad.  “We don’t need disloyal customers like…” 

She glances at the iPad and proceeds to loudly read off your name, address, social security number, credit card numbers, and the names and ages of all your children, along with where they go to school.   You’re horrified.

“Any more disloyal customers who want to put on those wimpy seatbelts?”  The attendant asks while waving the iPad in the air.  No one moves.  The attendant smiles.  “I didn’t think so.”

By now the plane is picking up speed.  Galley doors are clanging and banging while the plane bounces down the runway. 

Someone in the back shouts, “have we received clearance for take-off?”

The attendant laughs.  “Clearance?  Who needs clearance?  These guys know what they’re doing.  All of those corrupt air traffic controllers have been fired, anyway.  Just a drain on air transportation.”

“But are you sure the plane’s OK?”  someone else calls out.

“Of course,” the attendant says.  “The boss fired all those lazy mechanics and ground crew a couple of  hours ago.  Anyone who’s worked on the plane since then may not be experienced, but they’re loyal to the boss, and that’s all that matters.”

“I wonder if those kids are in radio contact with anyone?” a woman behind you whispers.

The attendant overhears this.  “Radio contact?  Are you kidding?  We’ve turned off the radios.  Shut down all of the flight instruments, too.  They’re just a distraction.  The pilots know what they’re doing.  You just have to have a little faith, right?  Give ‘em some time!”

Someone else screams, “My God, isn’t there an Air Marshall on board?”

The attendant starts laughing even harder.  “We fired them all.  None of them could pass our loyalty test.  But we know some security guards who were fired by the old airline because they assaulted some previous customers.  As soon as we get them out of jail, we’ll have them back on the job.  Then we’ll be perfectly safe.”  

The attendant grabs a bottle from the liquor drawer, then shouts into the intercom.  “Welcome to Dolon Trusk Airlines!”

The cockpit door is open and you see the pilots do a high five.  One shouts “woo-hoo!”  The plane shudders violently as it barely lifts off, then banks sharply to the right.  You grip the armrests and feel sick.  How could this have happened?

How, indeed.  Welcome to Trump/Musk America, the 2.1 version, where safety standards are unnecessary, guardrails are red tape, being a professional makes you disloyal, government expenditures are corrupt (except expenditures going to Elon Musk), health care is irrelevant, bullies and liars are now the good guys, the constitution is simply a nuisance, fealty is more important than competence, the Supreme Court is a rubber stamp, and democracy is rapidly becoming a joke.

The juvenile techies known as the Muskrats have accessed government payment systems as well as personal data, despite having no authority to do so.  Agencies authorized by Congress are being dismantled, the law be damned.

The USAID, a program to aid developing countries for the past 60 years, is being axed.  Were some of those countries that received aid corrupt?  Almost certainly, but not unlike Russia, Hungary, or any number of other countries. And Tesla, perhaps?

For the uninformed, you can’t buy good will with bullets.  America transformed Europe through the Marshall plan, and engendered trust through other aid programs.  Disbanding USAID and destroying trust in America is the greatest gift Trump can give to Russia and China.  But we knew that already, right?

Any attempt to help the poor or marginalized is now labeled with the scarlet letters “DEI.”  Anyone seeking asylum or freedom is unwelcomed. 

The exception, of course, is if you are a wealthy white South African.  Then Trump promises to “resettle” you to the United States. Apparently, a rich white South African expat named Elon approves.

But hungry kids or threatened families?  Screw ‘em, right?  They’re probably all rapists and murderers, anyway.

So long Department of Education.  Who needs national standards?  Schools can teach whatever their state wishes, whether true or not.  States can mandate Christian instruction to the exclusion of other religions.  Exhibit A?  Oklahoma and Louisianna.

So long scientific research and medical progress.  So long health standards.   Good-bye critical thinking.

Hello raw milk, overpriced supplements, vaccine denial, and disproven treatments.

So long pollution standards.  Hello climate disasters.

And for anyone who says “gee, it’s only been a few weeks, let’s give it a chance,” remember this—being thrown off a skyscraper is no big deal either.  Just give it some time.  Give it a chance.

Sooner or later, the ground always comes up.